electric feel.

The roller coaster has finally slowed. It's straightening itself out, back into somewhat of a routine that I can grasp and ride along with.

In short, the heart-stopping drops and gut-wrenching twists have subsided. I, in my completely "glass half empty" way of thinking, am just waiting for it to happen all over again. It will, inevitably, but hopefully be easier. It always seems to alleviate, just a little. Hooray!

To break up the monotony, I'm fortunate enough to be escaping to the seclusion of the mountains to stay in Big Bear for the weekend. I don't know what I'm thinking exactly, since it's completely opposite of me in every way shape and form. But since my only requirement of "no sleeping outside" is being met, I figured why not go? It's different, I've never actually been to the mountains and I might just like it.

To be honest, I'm pretty pumped about it. Pumped as in the fact that I'm counting down the days until Thursday night and I can't really stop talking about going. I'm excited to wear jeans and boots. Layer shirts and sweaters and scarves. Drink wine and play board games. Oh, and to hopefully see some breath-taking scenery while I'm at it.

Maybe I'm searching, reaching even, for something that isn't there. I'm hoping for a sight that is so breathtakingly beautiful, it makes me want to cry. I want to breathe crisp, fresh, cold mountain air in my lungs and just drink it in. I want it to course through my body from the tips of my toes, to the top of my head. I want to FEEL.

I don't know what to expect, if I'm setting myself up for disappointment or not, but I somehow can't imagine that I am. If anything, it's an excuse for a road trip which generally makes for a good time.

Though if I see snow, or a bear, I might not be coming back alive.