only get closer to the point

"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek."

- Barack Obama

Those words have really been sticking with me the past couple of weeks. Ever since the inaugaration where I felt hope and possibility for the first time in a long time, it's fired me up in a way that I didn't know I was capable of feeling any longer and it's exciting.

I'm not only seeing changes in myself anymore, which is...unexpected but expected at the same time? I spoke to Derek for the first time in...well, since I've moved at least but I'm pretty sure we hadn't been speaking before then for awhile either yesterday. His call came completely out of the blue and really caught me by surprise. Not that I didn't want to talk to him, but I had kind of let that whole situation go. But once we got on the phone and caught up, it was kind of back to what we used to be and that felt really good. He's been through a lot the past couple months and it's really made him grow up and (gasp!) change. I felt like I was having a conversation with another adult, and I had another person other than my best friend, understanding the change and growth that comes along with life itself. He referenced past conversations that we've had and pointed out that I was right, as I usually am. That I have this way of understanding the situation and thinking about it rationally (ha!) and going about it from there. Those things are always nice to hear because while I can recognize that I may go about situations differently than most others my age, I don't really think it to be different because it's just what I know. How I make myself understand things. Regardless, I'm glad to be talking to him again. I'm glad he's grown up and recognized that while it may be fun, you can't pretend to be a kid forever. It only hurts you in the end.

I feel special sometimes, because of what I've accomplished. People (my age, that I know) tend to point it out moreso than others. Really though, in the scheme of things, I want to tell them that I haven't accomplished all that much but I guess what I have has been big. Maybe I'm just completely unaware. I'm proud of myself, don't get me wrong but there's just much more that I need to do. I'm not done. In fact, I kind of feel like I've only just begun.