But we're not even Italian!

First things first. 48 (well, less than) hours with someone that you haven't seen in 8 months , is a sick joke. I knew that going in, but it still didn't make it any easier when she left. I cried and cried and cried. And then cried some more. A permanent softball sized lump was in my throat from the hours of 8am Saturday to at least 3pm Sunday and it SUCKED. It's getting easier as the days go on (and the promise that she'll be back this spring) so I can't complain too much. Moral of the weekend being that I miss my Mom more than words can describe, 48 hours with her is not enough time in the slightest and...she still can NOT hold her alcohol.

And so the story goes like this:  On Friday (the only full day that I had with her) they of course want to go wine tasting. So I'm all HELL YES because I love any excuse in the whole world to get drunk, especially on a Friday afternoon when I am usually at work. Thus, we go off on our merry little way and I'm navigating from the backseat since I still only sometimes pretend to actually know where I am going. But regardless, we make it to one-two-three-FOUR wineries before my mother makes a fool out of herself. (This is the women who was worried about making it to "enough wineries" even when I told her if we get to three of them, that's considered a good day)

So we make it to Rotta Winery ,where I've never been, and the only reason we went was because they're the only vineyard that makes Black Monukka, which I detest more than life itself, but the other people that I was with only drank dessert wines. YES. PICTURE MY FACE WHEN I HEARD THAT STATEMENT COME OUT OF THEIR MOUTHS. I WISH YOU WOULD. Anyway, after the shock and disgust wore off, we're all standing there "revisiting" our favorites (for future reference, mine is their Trinity and Heritage Zin) when all of the sudden, our pourer says "I smell salami...weird!"

Of which, my beautiful and charming and usually very polite and sweet mother (after a 5 second pause) responds with this little gem: "OH, THAT'S BECAUSE I JUST BURPED."

.... no seriously. Those words came out of her mouth. I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. After which, she apologized, almost died of embarrassment and proceeded to buy 3 bottles of wine. All of which are now sitting proudly and stoically on my kitchen counter as proof that yes, that REALLY DID HAPPEN.