you found me, all I found was you.

Since I've moved, I've lost a lot. I've gained a lot too, but what really gets me is how hard it is to keep up with relationships when I'm so far away. I think I thought that it would be much easier than it is. I find myself using more time MAKING plans to contact people, rather than actually following through with them. The time change is the hardest - knowing when to call and when not to call. I hate having to make plans to call someone, instead of just being able to pick up the phone and call without worrying about what time it is and what they're doing (or not doing) and it's just such a pain. That's why I've grown to rely on email, twitter, blogging and more recently, Facebook.

Facebook, oh dear old Facebook. Really, when it comes down to it - FB is great. It's a great way of staying in touch with people and keeping other people up to date on what you're doing...or in my case; what I'm not doing (working, ha)

Recently (because of Facebook), I've began talking again to someone that I thought was gone from my life. Maybe not for good but, at least for awhile. I had closed that chapter and was starting a new one but they somehow have managed to sneak back in and kind of flip my world around a little bit. And I don't know how I feel about it. I feel good in one way because well, it's always nice to be wanted. To have someone say nice things about you, and make you feel good. But on the other hand, I just don't know. I don't know if it's right to delve into something like this when it's so uncertain. All odds are against it and I personally don't know what exactly to think of it so - it's not necessarily fair. I don't know. Ugh, like I said, my head just doesn't know what to think.


It's funny how life has this way of throwing curveballs. I mean, it's not that I don't expect the unexpected anymore because please believe that I am well aware of how to not ever get completely comfortable with life. It has this way of catching you off-guard, all the time. Some may say that this gives me a pessimistic view on life; I call it realist. Things aren't always going to be fair, go your way or make sense to you - that's just the way that it is. They also aren't on your time, obviously. But at the same time - I choose to believe that everything happens for a reason and maybe that's why this is happening now.

I guess I've just got to look at it that way and allow itself to play out. We'll see how it goes.